my_story

Sunday, August 14, 2005

drug addict?


when i say that i am a drug addict, then believe me, i am. but if i say otherwise, then i'm not.

galing ako st joseph's knina pra magsimba..
binabasa ko yung mga bagong nakalagay sa bulletin board nang si sir mcrey, our disciplinary officer, approached me and asked me kung kamusta naman ako
sbi ko, ayos lang, tumataba bla bla bla, tas sbe nya sken, tumawag daw si mama sa office nya last june to ask kung ano daw ang mga ginagawa ko sa skul at kung bakit ako madalas na ginagabi. tinanong din nya kung posible daw ba nag-ddrugs na ko

nagulat lang ako dun sa tanong na yun. hindi kasi nya(mother) tinatanong sken yun at napapaisip din ako kung bakit kailangang sa skul pa nya itanong yung bagay na yun. pwde namang saken? prang ang dating kasi sken, iniisip nya na i do drugs.

hindi ba nya alam na by what she is saying, she is committing the fallacy of false cause. ibig ba sabihin na pag ginabi ako ng uwi o pag late na ko nakarating sa bahay ay nagddrugs na ko?? so lahat pala ng tao na late umuuwi drug addicts or pushers na?? alam ko namang instinctive na sa isang mother na magworry or maghanap sa anak nya na pag 12mn na ay wala pa din sa bahay.(ika nga nya, kung ang aso nga hinahanap pag nawawala, tao pa kaya? - bakit aso ba ko? hindi ba ko marunong umuwi??)subalit kung OA na at wala na sa lugar ang pagaalala, hindi na rin tama. in the first place, pinapaalam ko naman sa knya kung san ako pu2nta at kung sino ang ksama ko bago ako umalis ng bahay. at isa pa, 17 years old na ko, bata pa ko pero may isip na naman ako at sariling palagay! and besides, pinagaral nya ko sa catholic schools althroughout my life, pinalaki nya naman ako ng tama? so what's there to worry about?

i love myself and i love my parents so i won't do anything na makakasama sakin o kaya naman ay ikagagalit nila.

also, 1000 pesos lang ang baon ko per wk, inclusive of my baon and my pamasahe, so tight budget ako and i dont have space pra ibili ang srili ko ng mga shitty fucking drugs na yan. at kung nagddrugs man ako, di sana payat na ko ngayon dba?

bhala na lang sya kung yun ang iniisip nya skin. hindi ba nila maiintindihan na teenager ako, at madami pa kong dapat matutunan sa buhay, at hindi ako matututo kung ikukulong ko lang ang srili ko sa lintek na bahay na to ang magmumukmok sa bwisit kong kwarto? kung wala man syang tiwala sakin, ok lang. siguro hindi lang talaga maganda ang relationship ko sa family ko kaya ko nasasabi ang mga bagay na to. pero just one thing- i wont, and i'll never use drugs. period.

siguro drug addict nga ako even if i don't look like one. malay nyo rapist din ako? matakot na lang kayo sken pag nakita nyo ko


july wrote this piece of crap on Sunday, August 14, 2005
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the_maniac

July

19 : also known as julius, jollers, hulyo or whatever you wish to call him : fake chinese : budding psychologist : thomasian : tends to be critical about anything : musically endowed : so damn moody : singer since birth : practical but unavoidably spendthrift : art and cat lover : occasionally alcoholic : broke on wednesdays : easy-going : sensitive animal : certified latecomer : former josephian : mobilephone addict : cyberstuff enthusiast : part-time writer : loud but silent : taken but available : comic but serious : hates school : moderately athletic : intellectually capable : no tv, no movies, no news : frustrated philosopher : food junkie : hopeless romantic : believes in destiny

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